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Hmm
I said, the darkest phase is over and it was time to look ahead. I note now that it is not easy, alone to be strong when you were recently in a threesome. I am a very, very bad single fighter.

Hmm
Did I say the darkest phase was over and that it was time to look ahead? I am not Realising that it is so easy to be alone, when there were three before. I am a very, very bad sole fighter.

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help - I'm in the job jungle, Get Me Out of Here!

;)


Help - I'm a job hunter, get me out of here!

;)

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It's March
The darkest Trauerphase, die Zeit des versteckens und verkriechens und Selbstmitleid habens, ist vorüber. Jetzt kommt die aktive Phase des umguckens und planens und kommunizierens. Es ist alles gut so.

It is March
The darkest griving time, the time to hide and avoid iand to pity myself s over. Now comes the active time for exploring, planning and communicating. It's all good the way it is.

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One more time
If I hear one more time 'at least you weren't already in the 6th month, that would have been so much worse', I will blurt out my comeback. 'oh, you're son died when he was 7? Well, at least he didn't live another 10 years, that would have meant so much more suffering for you all.'
Honestly, I will not be able to help myself!

Once more
If I again hear 'well at least you were not already in the 6th Month, 'will then slip out to me immediately following:' had been so much worse that - your son died when he was 7? Well at least he did not live 10 more years, which had for you all so much means more suffering. " seriously, I'll just can not hold back!

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When indoor soccer tournament in the elementary schools of the district of Bruck / Mur our football team finished consisting of the players David Bosnjak, Martin Gschiel, Julian Sonnier, Michael Blason, Adrian Hellmig, Marco Krotky, John Stone, Nicole Strohmaier and Niklas Planka the sensational second place! Coached by Mr.
. Hans Braun Eder they achieved with commitment and skill this great performance!
Congratulations!

football championship

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skiing on 26/01/2011 at Eichfeldlift

All 4 classes were on Wednesday, 26/01/2011 at Eichfeldlift in Turnau Ski and Bob go.
Thanks to the perfect organization of the teacher of the 1st Class, Mrs. Birgit Angerer, and the many parents who have found the time to spend with the children a day on the slopes, was the day all around well done.
While the skiers still drove a race, the bobsled, the onset of snow built snowmen and snow-hedgehog.

2011_0130schulskitag

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Heyyy
We're getting better. Together.

Heyyyy
us, it is slowly getting better. Together.

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It turns out, my husband did not mean to break up It just sounded that way. , Phew one communication. She's a bitch.
:)

As it turns out, wanted to make my husband does not end with me. It has just listened to Sun Oh man, communication is a whore.
:)

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Thank God for mothers.
I'm safe, ok and have a shoulder to cry on and cake to eat. And somebody telling me that I'm a good person and that I'm going to be ok. Thanks mum.

Thank God there are mothers.
I am safe, cry alive've got a strong shoulder and eat cake. And anyone who tells me that I am a good person and all is well. Thanks, Mom.

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home And wait for 2 refusals to me, which I was not even an invitation to an interview worth ...

And at home 2 rejects await me, invite without even being worth an interview ...

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17th Feb, 12.35pm. My life as I know it is over.
My husband has just broke up with me.

17th Feb, 12.35. My life as I know it's over.
My husband has just done with my conclusion.

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Ice Skating - January 2011

Some ice skating photos that despite the difficult lighting conditions at the ice rink Kapfenberg become really good!

skating Jan 2011

Thanks to Iris judge for photography!

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A new
week I will spend the coming week working to get my life back together. With no distractions and in inspiring surroundings. And I will celebrate our child this Friday the 11th.

A new week
I will work the next week because my life back on the series to get. Without distractions and in an inspiring setting. And I will on Friday celebrate our child, on 11

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service days
Have something to do today, but tomorrow I'll thump from.
I must go for a while the void produced in me and externally, to get back into balance.
Bye!

Tuety Day
Have got something to sort today, but tomorrow I'll escape.
I have to copy the emptiness inside of me in my environment - maybe that'll get me back into balance.
Bye!

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My life is great
I am so cool
best I can hope for drown, not in a dark pool

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Strength
I do not like it and it's a nice feeling, but I just have to become more self-sufficient and leave all expectations behind. I hope it will not turn me into a cold and closed person.

strength
I do not like and is not a nice feeling, but I simply must have more support himself and leave all expectations. I hope that does not do that to me a cold and secretive man.

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Lonesome

alone

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Back
I've returned from the doctors - my body has really finished with all the pregnancy stuff weeks ago and is functioning normally again. All good there. I'm halfway through my next cycle and ovulating. What a waste! I should freeze it ...
I've decided for myself that doctors and death just do not get on, by nature, so I will not expect any sympathy from that end in the future. This insight made me feel better. Got my questions answered.
Now I think I'm gonna let my body lead the way for a bit.

Back
I'm from the doctor again - my body has really completed the whole Schwangerschaftskram weeks ago and will operate normally. All right in the area. I'm right in the next cycle, or had 've just ovulation. What a waste! If I can freeze ...
I have found for me that doctors and death simply because of work not green, and that because I simply can not expect empathy. Me now to make things better. I get my questions answered. Now I let me think for now I derive from my body.

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thoughts I have now again a gynecologist. There will be watched (by the hormone), whether the pregnancy my body now "shaken off" completely has. Since I really would prefer pregnant, I do not know what I hope. That I have indeed the Thai All doctors have said that it would be best, the pregnancy as soon as possible "to shake". Fortunately, I did not agree. I think I mainly hope that I still get a few answers. On the million questions I have, to my many visits to the doctor, where I've never really understood what they wanted to tell me.
And then I think I would never again see a doctor.

Pete, his friends and his sister have survived in the Townsville Tropical Cyclone Yasi. They had met a terrible night, but with the horrors they have escaped. Thanks
W distracted for it!!

Thoughts
I have another appointment with my gynaecologist today. They will check (hormone levels) if my body has successfully "shaken off" this pregnancy. As I rather would still be pregnant I'm not really sure what to hope for. All the Thai doctors kept telling me, that it would be best to "shake off" the pregnancy quickly. Happily I didn't agree with them. I think, what I hope for is to get answers to the one million questions I still have, about my many doctors visits, where I never quite understood, what they were really telling me.
And after that I think I never want to see another doctor again.

Pete, his friends and his sister have gotten through the tropical cyclone Yasi in Townsville. They had a scary night, but got off without major damages.
Thanks W, for the distraction!!

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Fear
I know everything is going to be alright and I am thinking lots of positive thoughts. But... there still is this fear. Pete, family and friends are facing what is possibly the biggest cyclone in Australian history. First our baby, now this - I am thinking more and more that, whatever 'good' reasons we had in January to leave each other for 4 months, they were stupid and we should be together to be there for each other in such situations in life.
I guess we can put this right "next time".
I love you very much, honey.

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Happiness
For the first time since I found out about the loss of our baby I woke up with a smile on my face this morning. It was a self-ironic thought that brought on the smile. The irony is that the more I am happy within myself the more I can laugh at myself. :o)
I like myself at the moment. I am productive, I have vision, I have great conversations with my husband, I am there for people who need me, I am secure thanks to my parents, I can have solitude when I need it thanks to my friend, I see a bright future ahead thanks to me. And I feel a new womanly pride and confidence, thanks to baby.

Glücklich sein
Zum ersten Mal seit ich von dem Verlust unseres Babys hörte bin ich heute morgen mit einem Lächeln woke up on the lips. It was a self-deprecating thought that brought a smile with him. The irony is, the more I am happy with myself, the more I can laugh at me. : O) I like
me at the moment. I'm productive, I have vision, I have great conversations with my husband, I am for people there who need me, I am covered, thanks to my parents, I have time only for me thanks to my friend, I have a bright future see before me . And I feel a new womanly pride and a new feminine self-confidence thanks to baby.

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confidence
I just saw an interview with the author of 4 minus 3rd This is such a strong woman. I 'm totally unaffected by which trust she goes through life. She has lost 3 years ago in a car accident her husband and their two children. Now they
has a new partner and also consider having children. She says' sometimes I think maybe so great behind the curtain now around 3 children together. My first two and the new, what's to come '...
:)

Faith
I just watched an interview with the author of '4 -3 '. She wrote a book about her experience of losing her husband and their children 2 in a traffic accident. She is such a strong woman.
Now she has a new partner and they are thinking about having children. She says' sometimes I think there are three children jumping around together on the other side of the veil. My first two, and the new one Which is not born yet '...
:)

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Thank you!
I wish to thank all of you who helped me with SMSs, emails, messages, phone calls and hugs and support you gave.
I'm doing quite well. I remember the beautiful moments in my pregnancy and how great it all must have felt. To grieve I need more time, but that's not bad. I want to be encouraged and not round the clock or distracted. My son or daughter died before they were born and that is not simple, but rather a complicated grief situation. Many - especially my doctor - I get the Council to focus on the next pregnancy. For me, it sounds then this: "Your grandmother died Oh, you certainly have .. better luck with the next Grandma" as I said, it is not as easy for my friends and family, not sure.
I love my children very much and I had done everything to ensure he's OK. I am very grateful that I could wear it at least 6 weeks.

Thank you!
I want to thank you all who raised me up with texts, emails, messages, phone calls and hugs. I am doing pretty well. I want to keep the beautiful memories of my pregnancy in my memory. Grieving will still take time, but it's no bad thing. I do not need to be cheered up or distracted all day. My son or my daughter has died, even before they were born, and that's a rather complicated grieving situation. Many people - headed by my doctor - give the advice to focus on my next pregnancy. To me that always sounds like:"Oh, you're grandma died? Hm, you'll probably have more luck with your next one." like, I said, it's complicated, no less for my family and friends.
I loved my child very much and did everything so it would be well. I am very grateful that I was allowed to at least carry it for 6 weeks.

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ski day at 26.1. - Rules for driving in the group

1. Follow closely the instructions of your group leader.
2. attempts to make the exercises as accurately as possible.
3. retaining the group rides are a safe distance (about 2 ski lengths).
4. If you go to the group, always at the bottom row up a ( behind the group down ).
5. urge impact on adjustment and not the lift. If you need help
6. need - even the lift staff will help you!
7. removal of the group is allowed only after sign-out with the group leader.
8. Sometimes it is necessary to be patient.

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Eine neue Woche

Ich habe von anderen Schwangeren mit dieser Erfahrung gehört, daß sie in ihrem Krankenhaus sehr were treated sensitively and had the opportunity, even so early in the pregnancy happened to attend a funeral service. I think this way I would have liked.
I forgot to mention that I'm back home! After
me on 11 January to Phuket suddenly went bad, I was just there at night in the hospital, I immediately brought forward my flight and am on 13 January flew back to Hannover and then early last Friday was at my doctor, after two Thai physicians who had given me in December misdiagnosis, according to an Australian hospital where we are on 30 December saw the heart beat of our happy babies and after the last doctor in Phuket. My doctor was knowledgeable, sensitive, spoke the language, but ultimately could only confirm my worst fear. Although I had the last few days and the whole flight long still believed and hoped.
I had struggled through to let Pete in Australia to carry out this important for my pregnancy tests, and in order before baby arrives to work something else. (It would have been born in August), rather than as scheduled in May with Pete to come back and tell me where to recover a bit from recent years. Now I'm here and he is there and we somehow make the best of it.

It's a new week.

A new week

I heard from other pregnant women with the same experience, that their hospital was very sensitive and gave them the opportunity to take part in a grieving ceremony. I think I would have liked that.
After suddenly feeling unwell on the 11th January on Phuket I went to the hospital there in the night, and brought my flight forward immediately. I came back to Hanover on the 13th and on Friday morning finally went tomy doctor, after 2 Thai doctors who gave misdiagnosises in December, after an australian hospital where we were overjoyed to see our baby's heartbeat on the 30th and after that last doctor in Phuket. My doctor was competent, sensitive, spoke the right language, but in the end could only confirm my worst dread, notwithstanding all my belief and hope during the flight and the last days.
I had finally decided to leave Pete in Australia to go to all the pregnancy check ups at home and to work a bit before baby comes (it would have been born in August), instead of staying in Australia with Pete until May as planned, and recouperating from those last years a bit more. Now I am here and he is there and we will just make the best of it.

It's a new week.

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The saddest week of my life
Thank you for your kind wishes for our good news in my last post.
Unfortunately I have to revoke. We have lost our baby. It is, as I am reassured, a very common and natural Occurrence, miscarriage in the first trimester of a pregnancy. That does not make it any easier to deal with it, however. At least, it does not feel it, yet.
I am very grateful, that I was able to experience my very short pregnancy. It was a wonderful thing.

The saddest week of my life
Thank you for your kind wishes for the good news in my last post.
Unfortunately, I must correct. We lost our baby. This, I was assured, is a regular and natural event in the first trimester of pregnancy. This makes it is not necessarily easier to deal with it. Anyway, it feels not so, not yet.
I am very grateful that I experienced my short pregnancy. It was a wonderful time.

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Kleine Zeitung

the end of our newspaper project that the 3rd and 4 Class did together, our Lord Christoph Heigl visited by the "Kleine Zeitung . We learned how a newspaper is created and what work an editor.

thetimes

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Mr. Heber / elementary school harbor village half a century ago

Miriam's grandfather told Further us from his school days in port village 60 years ago. Heard the curious student of the 3rd had brought to class and admired the beautiful character issue that Mr. Heber.

Mr. Heber

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Our News

Today, exactly one month ago, so on St. Nicholas, we have made the exciting discovery - we have a baby! : O) At the time of the first test I was in Mae Sot, Pete looking on the way to Australia, currently in Malaysia and our exchange of news, the first doctor (be), my new beginning and emotional farewell to our students and my Since then, travel-happy antics could have another book fill: dolphins, meet new family members, celebrated a Ueberraschungshochzeit and mourn a friend, some of them ...

Right now I'm in Kuala Lumpur at the airport, just my flights for the umpteenth time I transferred and I will relax this evening on the beach of Phuket, where I meet in 2 days, Wolf, to our to third planned and because Baby completely remodeled vacation (salute to B on the Nile!) still got to address in a modified form in part. :)

Then you go home, a completely crazy, special, new, beautiful, rather more sedate () to start phase of life??

were greeting, strahlend,

Manja

xxx

Our News

A month ago exactly today we discovered the most exciting thing - we're going to have a baby! :o) At the time of the first test I was still in Mae Sot, Pete already on his way to Oz - in Malaysia at the time - and our exchange of news, the first doctor's searches and visits, my leaving and emotional good-bye from our students and my travel-happy escapades since could fill a whole book: watching dolphins, getting to know new family members, celebrating a surprise wedding party and mourning a good friend are but a few...

At the moment I'm sitting at the airport in Kuala Lumpur, have just rebooked flights for the umpteenth t ime and will relax tonight on the beach of Phuket, where I am going to meet Wolf in 2 days to somehow partake in a delayed fashion in our originally as a threesome *g* planned holiday, which had been completely deranged because of baby (greetings to B on the Nile!!). :)

After that I am heading home, to start a completely crazy, special, new, wonderful and more settled (??) phase of my life!

Greetings, glowing,

Manja

xxx

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New Year!
Hello lovely people! I would like to wish everybody a very Happy New Year and all the love and happiness in the world.
I'm in Ballina, Australia at the moment, with my handsome husband and his family, I came here just before Christmas. There's been a lot going on since my last post and I haven't got enough time on the internet at the moment to do it all justice. :) But I will send a proper update soon!
What I can say is that I am very well and that 2010 was, as planned, our year *g* and that 2011 is getting even better!

Neues Jahr!
Hallo all Ihr Lieben! Ich wuensche Euch allen ein wirklich Happy New Year, filled with love and happiness all over the world.
I'm in Ballina, Australia, with my cute husband and his family, I arrived here just before Christmas. Since my last post here is a lot left over and I just did not enough internet time to wear all really account. :) But as soon as possible then there is time, a comprehensive coverage!
What I can tell already times, is that 2010 really planned, "our year" was, and that 2011 will be better again!